The arrival Elliott Ian Madigan.

I gave birth to a beautiful bonny boy on Saturday 10:47am.

Details to follow.

10 positives about my pregnancy

Enough with the maternity moans! Below is a list of reasons to why I should like my pregnancy, rather than wishing for its inevitable end. This pregnancy has been rather tough, to be honest I hated the first and third trimester so much, those reasons alone would make me think twice about doing it again.
But heres a bunch of reasons that in a few weeks time, I may come to miss it.

1 - I get to interior design shop, a lot. No questions asked! ...Junk shops, Ikea, Habitat, no one can hold me back!

2 - It makes me think of the 'larger picture', rather than just my own needs. Helps me to put my existence in perspective

3 - Rowdy men on the street leave you alone, no wolf whistles or strange comments, sometimes they will be surprisingly respectful to you, holding doors open, etc.

4 - Because I have had severe nausea throughout this pregnancy my partner cooks every night, he has now become really good at cooking whereas before I couldn't trust him with a microwave.

5 - I did not suffer from stretchmarks nor did I get a Linea Alba, which I don't really like the look of. (some women do, I don't)

6 - Always having an unquestionable reason to get out of social arrangements if needed.

7 - Random chats with nostalgic middle age women about pregnancy in the supermarket.

8 - I have spent a lot of time reconnecting with my own Mother.

9 - My relationship has got much better, we communicate more efficiently, hardly argue and take things on the chin a lot more, again pregnancy has a way of making light of things which may have really knocked you down before.

10 - Sex is more intense when pregnant! It feels incredible!

[Picture left Die Hoffnung by Gustav Klimt (1903)]

A thought provoking and candid account of one woman's experiences of childbirth, and the idea of being 'womanlike'

"When I told people I didn't plan to breast-feed my daughter (I only told people who asked; I'm old-fashioned that way), I met a fair amount of incredulity. "But don't you want to give your child every possible advantage?" I was asked. Not really, I replied. This kid will be born white and middle class in America; she's already ahead of 95% of the rest of the world. Why does she need every advantage?"

- http://mcsweeneys.net/links/bitchslap/bitchslap10.html

Getting my maternity kit off...

So, a friend of mine needed a preggo to bare (not really) all for his upcoming video installation. At first I didn't want to do it, but didn't want to let anyone down. I tried to re-write my parts where my chest would be covered with a newborn, un-surprisingly we had problems getting hold of one.

Looking back at the day I suppose I felt more funny about being partially naked in front of my friend, I also felt odd that by getting my kit off when pregnant would misrepresent my usual shape. The day came closer and closer then on the day I just took a deep breath whipped my top and bra off and got on with it. - the tension dropped and not after long I felt fine.

Looking back on the photographs (which I asked to be taken) I was slightly proud I had overcome being so wilful and just got on with it, not to mention I didn't appear to look like the Jabba-the-Hutt freak that I was convinced I would. Also, after the pregnancy, looking back at this time in years to come, I can see how I carried my first born. (Not to mention being a part of a pretty unique art-piece!). Just as well it is being exhibited in lands far away, I would probably feel much different if my friends were to see it!

I definitely suggest doing something similar, this has made me consider making a video of the birth or from the day of arrival so I can remember all of this, the negatives make me forget how happy I am to be carrying. Also, on speaking to other Mothers about this they recall the final stages/labour as cloudy, it seems to upset them that everyone sees their experience from a better view of which they did.

I don't know, maybe i'm going maaaaaaad.

As easy as 123... :/

I have one hundred and twenty-three days left until our child is due, and I still am yet to see how it is possible for a person to come out through my most sensitive and small lady regions.

ARGH!

Things you need not buy

The Ritmo Nuvo Mp3 player. Plays your music to your bump. Or something...

'Ritmo allows you and your baby to share the sensory and emotional experience of bonding through sound and music, while being supportive, safe, and stylish at the same time.' - When are people going to admit that you don't really 'share' anything with your baby at this point. It can hear stuff yes, it can hear you, It can kick you. It doesn't have the ability to appreciate the finer things in life yet such as your new Eminem album...
Sort it out.
Also, I have seen more stylish bits of 'kit' at an old people's home.

The Mon Babe Perfume... For your baby?

Yeah, that's right a perfume to make your baby smell more like a baby. Claims to have aromatheraputic proprieties, I doubt it, as someone who dabbles in that sort of crazy thing you have to use strong essential oils which then need to be diluted for topical application. Not the kind of thing which is good for babies skin, also, perfume for your baby is just a really stupid idea and at £25 it's a snatch!

The 'Why baby cry' analyzer.

This apparently figures out why your child is crying... but going by the product description below I wouldn't feel comfortable buying from a company who sells to an English market yet has no grasp of the frickin' language.

Sometimes when a baby keep on crying, parents are so confused do not know what have to be done, at this point it would be nice to have a baby’s translator. Think Geek with this innovative product is here to rescue you by analyzing why your baby cry.

...Yeah

Disney's new range of maternity clothes.

NOTHING needs to be said here other that 'Ugh'.

Sweet cake tub baby bath

If you are one of those people who insist on pushing every passing fad onto your first born then this product for you. It's overpriced and used by passing celebrities all over. Hoorah.
Its unsuitable for new borns and takes up lots of room... Not to mention it's tacky and expensive to boot. What a combo!?

Prince Lionheart Ultimate Wipes Warmer

Just in case you never considered the temperature of shit, you will now! At a steal at £25.

MummyWraps with Swiss Shield®

Radiation protection for your unborn child. A fabric which apparently guards anything beneath it from radiation poisoning.
Mummywraps, geniuses in making money from people's most irrational fears - hence the discount for expectant mothers in Chernobyl.

Dream Machine exercise bike.

Using this machine will assist with you losing your baby fat because obviously we are all so fat and ugly after giving birth, childbirth, it's a that stop gap from being sexy to pretty much decrepit. The idea behind this machine is that we combine those efforts to being passable again with a rocking baby to sleep action.
Stupid. Also you shouldn't exercise for a few months after being postpartum. So, just another reminder that all new mothers are fat and undesirable, obviously.

I picked this picture for it's fantastic tag line 'safer than putting baby on a real bike'... A baby microwave, safer than putting baby in a real microwave!

Weekend woman's hour/'mantenatal'

Just thought I would share this Radio4 segment regarding men, mantenatal classes and labour.

I have always thought that childbirth and its options should be discussed equally between man and woman, and where possible the man should support the woman (should she want him to) during the labour. But this segment offers some food for thought for the counter argument. Things I have never really considered before.

I know when the big day comes I am going to feel terribly vulnerable, I assumed my partner being there would make it better, not worse. Upon hearing the potential negatives of him being there, I think we will have to discuss it a bit more probably with the midwife. I do want my Richard along side me, I am concerned about the repercussions of what may happen... May his presence make me more prone to worry or become upset? Will he still be able to see me in the same way afterwards? Will I become worried about my interactions/appearance and begin to panic? Would I be calmer without him and with another female? And then there is the poo problem! Ack! - I suppose this is the argument to have a Doula, but i'm not really into all that hippy stuff!

Eak.