Bringing babby home.

It has been nearly eight weeks since our lives dramatically changed. Seven weeks and three days since the Big E came into town...

Since time goes on I seem to cope better with having a newborn, but, I also seem to be remembering all the other things I have to do, so, by each day my list gets bigger and bigger, not necessarily easier. During this time I have since gone back to University, being in my final year of study I am incredibly stressed and to be honest not a lot of fun to be living with! Regardless of all of this, I am feeling really happy! Our house move has fallen through, my student loan is yet to be processed, I have no time to eat more than one meal a day. But... Hey! I THINK THE CHILD JUST SMILED AT ME.

As time as gone on we have become very relaxed with childcare, no longer freaking out every time he cries, no longer staring over his crib making sure he is okay. Now Richard shoots up alien terrorists (or whatever) with one arm whilst the other holds a snoring child, I no longer panic when he throws up his dinner, we allow a few minutes to pass the hour of which we should re-sterilise his 'bot-bot', And so on...
I now understand how manipulative Mother nature is, babies shriek so one mildly panics, so they know to be alert and tend to the child's needs. It is all just an evolutionary ploy.

These things have come intuitively, it's strange really when looking back at his first night home I was a complete emotional wreck. I recall Richard trying to work the steriliser equipment and make up a formula whilst I cradled a crying child to my chest just thinking 'omg hurry up. please god hurry up, omg what do I do... please hurry up ARGHHH'. By the tenth mimute into the wait I started crying myself. I became over-run by guilt, it felt like because I couldn't get his food to him THAT second I was a redundant Mother. I felt almost, despicable. Now everything has healed, my stitches, and my jittery nerves! I am getting into the swing of things now, knowing to make batches of formula as and when, before he cries. Instinctively knowing wh cry means what... Currently childcare seems to get easier as time goes on. However, I am sure we're approaching the time where that will no longer be true, but by the looks of things it is going to be so much rewarding.

Elliott is now ooohing and ahhhing, reacting to his Mother oddly dancing at him and the sounds his toys make. And now, even when he complains or cries, they seem to forumulate a pattern giving us a better idea of what he is trying to communicate. I fear I am wishing a part of his life away sometimes, but I really just can't wait till he starts talking to me! It's going to be SO amazing.