Some baby wants and not baby needs (from Etsy)

Baby cocoon by karenswimmer

First up on my things to buy is this cocoon with pixie style hat.

A nice alternative to baby sleeping blankets. My little tyke is a big wriggler so I like to think he would be easier to settle in something more womb-like such as this. Check out their store for other goodies as the shop seems to be run by a very dedicated, loving and crafty mother.


'Crying is for babies' poster from the Subliminal baby range. sycamorestreetpress @ Etsy.

Letterpressed, original prints, great for the nursery. Other items from the range include 'You are getting sleepy' and 'eating off the floor never ends well'. Here's hoping they rub off.

Reasonable at $35/£22 each.

Gorilla cloth nappy soaker by thesittingtree.

Other than cloth/reuseable nappies being ecologically and economically friendly you also get the opportunity to buy stylish unique items that are cherishable, a strange prospect when one thinks of what will soon be in the item of clothing, nevertheless I think they are cute, a must have for those who are cut out for washable nappies.


3x Pom features by pomtree

The latest interior fad; pom poms!

Great for the nursery as an alternative to mobiles. Either way sure to catch babies eye whilst brightening up the room.

Pick your own colours here.

Three for an absolute steal at $11/£7

Bless this mess onsie from Friendsagain @ etsy

Cute unisex babygrow vest with vintage twee cross-stitch font screenprinted by hand.

A steal at $15, approx £9.

paw print baby moks by scandeez @ etsy.

Beautiful leather shoesies, it is a shame they wouldn't be used for long as you can tell from the photographs they are really delicately crafted, furthermore making you hope that your littleun stops growing.


A-Z Animal print by boldandnoble

Teach your child their ABC's with this educational art by the wonderful and talented Boldandnoble.

he handscreened print depicts a silhouette of 23 animals corresponding to the alphabet, giving opportunity to learn how these letters make sounds as well as a broader vocabulary of animals.


Wooden toy train by asummerafternoon

A timeless classic toy handcrafted in organic wood. Comes with four cars as standard. Chunky and sturdy in design. Would be great as a hand-me-down for generations to come. Beautiful.

Under priced at $50/£30

'Jeannie' knitted plush by theweaverbirdie

Charming handcrafted toy made with cuddly wool.

This one of a kind puppy comes with a free pouch.

Check out the shop for more designs.



High heels and low places

Please stop advertising maternity wear with high heels! It makes me feel ill!
I like the stripper heels in this picture too, gives the look just that extra bit of class...


Bringing babby home.

It has been nearly eight weeks since our lives dramatically changed. Seven weeks and three days since the Big E came into town...

Since time goes on I seem to cope better with having a newborn, but, I also seem to be remembering all the other things I have to do, so, by each day my list gets bigger and bigger, not necessarily easier. During this time I have since gone back to University, being in my final year of study I am incredibly stressed and to be honest not a lot of fun to be living with! Regardless of all of this, I am feeling really happy! Our house move has fallen through, my student loan is yet to be processed, I have no time to eat more than one meal a day. But... Hey! I THINK THE CHILD JUST SMILED AT ME.

As time as gone on we have become very relaxed with childcare, no longer freaking out every time he cries, no longer staring over his crib making sure he is okay. Now Richard shoots up alien terrorists (or whatever) with one arm whilst the other holds a snoring child, I no longer panic when he throws up his dinner, we allow a few minutes to pass the hour of which we should re-sterilise his 'bot-bot', And so on...
I now understand how manipulative Mother nature is, babies shriek so one mildly panics, so they know to be alert and tend to the child's needs. It is all just an evolutionary ploy.

These things have come intuitively, it's strange really when looking back at his first night home I was a complete emotional wreck. I recall Richard trying to work the steriliser equipment and make up a formula whilst I cradled a crying child to my chest just thinking 'omg hurry up. please god hurry up, omg what do I do... please hurry up ARGHHH'. By the tenth mimute into the wait I started crying myself. I became over-run by guilt, it felt like because I couldn't get his food to him THAT second I was a redundant Mother. I felt almost, despicable. Now everything has healed, my stitches, and my jittery nerves! I am getting into the swing of things now, knowing to make batches of formula as and when, before he cries. Instinctively knowing wh cry means what... Currently childcare seems to get easier as time goes on. However, I am sure we're approaching the time where that will no longer be true, but by the looks of things it is going to be so much rewarding.

Elliott is now ooohing and ahhhing, reacting to his Mother oddly dancing at him and the sounds his toys make. And now, even when he complains or cries, they seem to forumulate a pattern giving us a better idea of what he is trying to communicate. I fear I am wishing a part of his life away sometimes, but I really just can't wait till he starts talking to me! It's going to be SO amazing.


Belated birth story

I went into labour 6 weeks ago today! And here's the story.

The four weeks or so before I went into labour all the signs were telling me I was able to pop. All my labour signs came and went, they became more like annoying symptoms of a bizarre illness. I never had anything like false labour and I didn't get contractions that were continuous, I had the odd one before bed, going no-where else. two days before I went into labour I leaked fluid, we went into hospital to be sent home, they told me it was probably stressed incontinence, this annoyed me, because a) I knew it wasn't, b) I didn't like the idea I had been told I basically peed myself in front of my partner. Going home feeling a bit fed up, I gave up entirely on the idea that I was ever going to go into labour, it felt like I had never been pregnant and I was just ill, fat and ill.

Two days later feeling fit to burst, exhausted, grumpy and very 'overdue', I went back to bed, taking a sneaky 1pm nap. Half asleep I rolled over and something felt like it had given away from inside and warm clear water spilled around my knees, it wouldn't stop. I yelled for my partner who came rushing up, and nervously muttered 'my waters have broken', he responded in kind 'Oh, okay then'.

There is something to be said about being overdue, you become aware of every sensation and notice every minor feeling, thinking that is going to lead to the eventual delivery. At this point me and my partner had given up on 'going naturally', I was to be induced 2 or so days from this day. It was a very surreal and yet calm experience going in to the hospital. We both blushed and stepped over each-other whilst over packing our hospital bags. We both told each other it wasn't the 'real thing' and we should be ready to be sent home; it felt like this baby was never going to show itself.

We went to hospital and nothing much in the way of contractions were taking place, the hospital staff examined me and told me my backwaters had broken (which I had never of frickin' heard of) and not my 'normal waters'. I explained I was in there 2 days before as I thought I had been leaking amniotic fluid, turns out I was right and they were initially wrong to send me home.
At this point I was 2-3cm dilated but the 'contractions' started coming on, and as they were busy they thought it was best just to put me on a midwifery delivery unit right away. There I started to get lots of pain, even at this point I didn't know that what I was experiencing was in fact contractions it just felt like an ungodly pain. There was no throbbing, or contraction going on, just all over back pain, it felt like the bones in my spine were being crushed.

On the midwifery unit I was given gas and air, and boy did I love it. I even recall sitting back and asking Richard what the big fuss of labour was about. With this stuff, I was wonderwoman! Oh, how how wrong I was... The nurses offered me a bath, so me and Richard went in there, as soon as I got comfy the contractions started getting stronger, they kicked and moved me in a way you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, then I literally cried out for Pethidine. - I didn't like it much, it took the edge off but my eyes were rolling around in the back of my head. I couldn't focus on what I was doing, couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. I felt similar to when you are overtired and on your way to being 'overdrunk', cross-eyed, dizzy and not having such a good time. I tried going with just the gas and air but it didn't seem to be working any more, at the end of my tether, I accused the nurse of disconnecting the gas from the gas and air supply.My partner tried to console me, I felt bad that it didn't work.

As I opted for pain relief I was taken on to a long stay ward, there, I started screaming for an Epidural. Now, with every contraction I screamed and turned onto my stomach, on all fours. For some reason I literally couldn't bare the pain any other way. It felt like nothing in my life has before and I was close to passing out if not in this position. Turns out, the reason behind all of this was that the baby's, (or rather Elliott's) head was stuck on my spine, it wouldn't budge. I wanted to push with contractions but they wouldn't let me this went on for in total 20 hours from when we went into the hospital. The space between the pethidine wearing off and the epidural being administered was the worst time of my life, up to date but will probably shall forever be. Thinking about it makes me unlikely to have children again. It makes me cringe and cross my legs writing about it.

I was taken to yet, another ward, as the epidural did its thang, there I was lucid, calm, still, making jokes and to be honest, a bit bored. Lots of people came in and checked my lady regions, I soon became accustomed to being poked and prodded. Labour beame all of a sudden very easy.

It wasn't until later I was told that there was evidence to suggest Elliott was becoming distressed, there were fears he wasn't getting enough oxygen. The consultant rushed in, there spending a lot of time with me and the staff, there she scratched the top of Elliott's head to check the oxygen levels in his blood. I was soon ordered to push. Because of the awkward positioning the pushing wasn't working, I was rushed into theatre and there I was numbed for the last time. They said if it didn't work this time I would have to do one the one thing I didn't want and have a C-section.

The staff in the theatre made quips at one another, involving me all the way, I tried to ignore the forceps, they were the most terrifying thing I had seen,, never mind pointed towards my ladyparts! They made a large cut and I lost a lot of blood. I haemorrhaged in fact, these things I only found out afterwards as I physically couldn't feel much from the belly button down. And at this point none of it mattered.

All I really take from that day was seeing what seemed like a million pairs of hands whirling this small lump towards me, his wondering eyes were like shiny pennies; they pierced through numerous gangly limbs. They passed him over, it seemed to take for hours, all I could say was 'Oh my god, oh my god... Oh, my god'. He was placed on my chest and I turned to my partner and tried to conjure up something different to say 'we finally did it' soon came out.

Going through labour has been the strangest most surreal thing to happen to me, I would like to say that it feels natural, but it hasn't. From the moment Elliotts warm head was plomped onto me I have been in a state of shock, my head was forced up into the clouds. I can't get my head around that my partner and I 'made' someone.

Richard, the other half, says it feels strange to him that we have 'named' someone, and that people already come with a name, an introduction. But with him that hasn't happened, we are making choices for him. I find that terrifying, and 6 weeks on not much has changed from that.

I hope I am good enough, I worry every day and night I won't be, I am in a constant state of numbed panic and alert. But I guess that's an evolutionary tool or something, with every cry comes a trigger, a thought that I am not cut out for this. In in the initial stages of motherhood I thought this would pass, it hasn't, I just worry about his future more rather than the present.

My heart goes out to single mothers/fathers, I have no idea how they do it. Hats off to them! Without my Richard I would be a tiresome nervous wreck, he has taken to fatherhood like a duck to water, in fact I am rather jealous! He has helped me to be less hard on myself, its tough to take motherhood calmly when the whole world tells you not to. If I were to give out advice to parents to be, it would be to take one day at a time, set your own pace, and as my partner says to me frequently, you aren't doing anything wrong! This is just completely new, enjoy it!

Elliott Ian Madigan was born at 10:43 on 27th, November, 2010. Weighed at 7.9 Lbs.

Even Victoria Stilwell wouldn't go this far




Take no notice, or even better, do not read posts such as this.

No matter how many front cover magazine stories you see, or certified (certifiable more like!) people feeling they can comment, do not exercise until 6 weeks postpartum (or 8-10 if you had a section)

Exercising early can cause adverse affects, and you could be at risk to hemorrhaging, damaged abdominal muscles, infection, and spilt stitches. But, to me, more importantly than all of that, I don't think women should be concerned with all of that just yet, if at all. Take this time to bond with the child, take this time to try and get your head around what has happened. I am 3 weeks postpartum and I still feel in shock. The first night I brought my son home I had multiple panic attacks, bouts of uncontrollable tears, worrying about this little-life I had, somehow created. I felt vulnerable, and to be honest not up to the job. Feeling 'fat' on top of that and concerning myself with exercise would have been an un-called for.

When will people understand that pregnancy and labour is probably one of the most traumatic events it can go through, it needs time to heal, it needs good food, and it needs lots of rest. Not to mention, with a newborn around it can be hard to replenish yourself as it is. This kind of pressure really gets on my nerves. My best friend was told by another person that they went for jogging sessions the first week of giving birth, now I am not even sure I believe that, but to encourage another to do the same makes my blood boil.

I have found just 'getting back to normal', for instance food shopping, lifting things has had a fast impact on my shape and my body is pretty much back to normal, I'm lucky. For those who aren't so lucky and are desperate to do something, I would suggest taking the child out in the pram going for a walk, then increasing the length of the walk as you go on. Be mindful of your nesting instinct, you are probably working those muscles, by fixing up the nursery, making bottles of formula/lifting child to feed.

Please bare in mind, also that the uterus is contracting during this time, after labour it takes up room at the front of your stomach, it will go back into the pelvis when good and ready, the midwife/health visitor will check if this is taking place. Things are going back to how they were, it is a matter of time.

I would not advise another to embark on a new exercise routine given the woman's tender form, nor would I plaster on another (unnecessary) pressure at this most fragile and exciting of times.

Get a grip.


Come out, come out, placenta you are!

So I am 40 weeks and 4 days along and sadly enough, there's no real sign that it is coming to end soon.

Yesterday I saw my midwife who has booked me in for a 'plus 10' meeting, it's where I go into hospital 10 days from the day I was due, there we will arrange an appointment where there they will enduce me. - This was the one thing I didn't want to happen, besides being overdue that the sheer discomfort that comes with that, mentally I don't think it will be that great for me either. I hate the idea that I would know a day and time of which the baby will come, sounds strange but it fills me with anxiety, how would I ever sleep on the nights previous to the proceedure? [lord knows I have been having problems with as it is.
Adding to that anxiety are the other factors that come with being enduced. They usually last longer, cause more pain and have more risks involved. Now in the large scheme of things this bares no real weight as I don't know 'how much' pain I am going to expierience, as I am a first time mum. Also how does one quantify pain? I'm not sure, I suppose the more 'pain' the chance I will be using pain relief. This isn't something I am against, but it was something I was going to try with out.


Due Date

I am 40 weeks today. My baby was due to say hello on this day, the 20th November, alas he wants to arrive fashionably late, like his mother Grrr.

I am becoming a nervous wreck not knowing when he is going to arrive, especially since it appeared to everyone he was going to come early [His head has been engaged from 31 weeks, ow].

The tenuous sporadic early labour signs throw me into a belief he is coming that day/night I am finding it hard to ignore my body as I keep analysing it.

Also as the day gets closer I have had a few hormonal doubting moments, sort of like muted prolonged panic attacks, wondering if I have made the right choice, etc.

The thing that makes the wait more annoying, I am mindful that these worries and aliments will dissipate on his arrival, but thats then I am here, now. Painful, bored, anxious, now...


Fed up. A week to go....

I want my body back.
I want my boobs back.
I want to be able to put my own knickers on without falling over.
I want the metallic taste in my mouth to disappear.
Most of all I want to meet my son.

I don't know what I hate more the feeling my ribcage is being pulled apart
or the fact its much harder to breathe.

Seven days have never felt so much like an eternity before...